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Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Since I learned that many of spiritual fave-raves have pointed to the 12 Steps of recovery as America's great contribution to the canon (and, let's face it, since I found out that Julia Cameron's A-MA-ZING and transformative Artist's Way was loosely based on the 12 Steps), I've been looking at other ways to apply the Steps to my life.
These are important questions in any dating relationship, but even more critical for individuals who are in recovery.
Mary Faulkner, who has over 30 years of sobriety and is the author of Easy Does It Dating Guide: For People in Recovery cautions that relationships are “the number one relapse trigger”.
Faulkner compares dating in recovery to “playing football without gear, running barefoot over sharp rocks, and having dental work without the benefit of painkillers.
This may encourage them to abstain from drinking when they are around you.4) If attending gatherings where everyone is drinking apart from you always have some people in recovery you can call if you get triggered.
Tell your partner if you feel like picking up a drink.5) Exit as quickly as possible from the situation if you actually think you are going to pick up.6) Work on keeping a separate identity to your partner by maintaining your own interests, activities, hobbies including contact with all your recovery friends.7) If you start to think “I’m cured maybe I can drink again” read your Step 1 about the horrors of your addiction or any written work you have done in treatment or groups.8) Get more support in terms of seeing an addictions counsellor if you can afford it.9) Include other recovery people in your social activities or holidays with your partner, when possible, so you are not the only person not drinking and have support for your recovery.10) If you have a spiritual practice, some form of meditation or prayer, use it to ground yourself and ward off cravings.
It can be the great escape, bounce you back into relapse, or trigger a new addiction." Mary Faulkner is a writer, therapist, and teacher. She is a cofounder of Integrative Life Center, former director of women's services at Cumberland Heights both in Nashville, TN, and currently, the trauma specialist and a spiritual advisor at The Ranch in Nunnelly, TN.Along with a private practice, Mary certifies counselors and healthcare professionals in Integrative Hypnotherapy for Transforming Trauma.Solid relationship advice for couples in recoverydelivered with a light touch.The Easy Does It Relationship Guide shares solid advice for couples in recovery, delivered with a light touch. What should you do if you're attracted to a problem drinker?